It’s difficult to remain present – present in the moment, present in the body, especially present in pain. When each breath is taking you deeper, the first reaction is to retreat, to stop, to pull back. But what would happen if you stayed with that feeling? What would happen if you breathed through it? Then, you would get even deeper – you would get down into the realm of the Void.
Today my Void is filled with darkness – darkness of soft edges, darkness of warmth, darkness of belonging. My breath comes back to me warm and filled with freshness. This is the type of darkness marvelous dreams are made of. The type of darkness that keeps you safe, darkness that brings peace. I am breathing in and out, and I am delighted in the presence of my breath and the movement it is awakening within my body.
Contraction and expansion.
Contraction – I am disappearing in the soft darkness.
Expansion – I am everywhere. I am everything.
But then I always return to my body. To the softness of my belly, to the fullness of my breasts, to the strength of my legs. In and out – present and disappearing, all at the same time.
In the darkness of my Void, I am creating myself anew – cell by cell, breath by breath. Like a baby suspended in amniotic fluid I allow the fluidity of the Void to immerse fully within me. And through my inner-Void I welcome the dark part of the year that is coming – the darkening skies, the approaching night. I am not scared, as I know that night brings both pain and pleasure, questions and answers, fear and strength.
Today, I feel strong within my Void, I feel soft and safe. Knowing that it is not always going to be so, I just simply allow myself to be present with those feelings. Present, here, now – offering myself this beautiful gift.
I can feel how full my womb is – heavy with gathered blood. In the darkness of my Void, I am awaiting the release, the flow, the beginning of my new cycle. I am present through this beautiful process of death and rebirth, learning myself and the secrets of the outside world, the wisdom of the Underworld gathered within the cauldron of my womb. I am almost there, but not quite yet. I am awaiting the flow in presence. I place my hand on my dog’s warm fur, and we breathe together. I breathe her in, and she breathes me. Within us the entire world is present. Within us, life hugs death and becomes life again. Inbreath and outbreath, expansion and contraction – this beautiful dance of creation, dance of belonging, dance of togetherness, dance of life. How beautiful this moment is! How very precious. There is nothing else – just us, our breath, my Void, our wombs and the wisdom of Great Within and Great Without flowing through our bodies with love, compassion and trust.
This is the magic of my Void today.
Inbreath and outbreath … This is the truth held within my body and this moment in time.
Inbreath and outbreath … We do not grow just once.
Inbreath and outbreath … We do not heal just once.
Inbreath and outbreath … I am opening to new ways of nurturing myself.
Inbreath and outbreath … I honor the natural ebb and flow of the energies within and without.
Inbreath and outbreath … I tune into the cycles of the Moon.
Inbreath and outbreath … I tune into the cycles of my body.
Inbreath and outbreath … I am grounded.
Inbreath and outbreath … I am loved.
Inbreath and outbreath … I am whole.
Inbreath and outbreath …
In and out.