For me the All-Souls marks mid-autumn. The memory of summer begins to fade, and the promise of winter hangs heavily in the air. We must make sure that we allow winter to happen, that we prepare for her approach, that we allow her to cover us in silence, in darkness, and in time that flows in a totally different way. We must allow our bodies to get ready for rest, introspection, and slowness. We must accept that however we feel about this, autumn and winter are happening. Katherine May wrote in the ‘Wintering’: ‘In winter, you’re never more than a few steps from darkness’. It is so very important to remember that and to prepare our bodies and minds. Autumn is the time of preparation. Humans, especially us women, have forgotten how to properly prepare, and how to rest. We must remember it as coming darkness could be a double-edged sword. It could be a time of rest, rejuvenation, seership, and bliss; but it could also be the time of terrifying shadows taking over.
Autumn is the world’s pre-menstruum. It is a time of awakened shadows. This is the time of meeting your edges, time of truth and questions, time of preparation and taking stock. This is the time of the mysteries. Many women find that their creativity is very heightened at both phases (autumn and pre-menstruum). You can almost become a pure channel and birth whatever needs to come into this world. You can embody the Midwife archetype and be present for the unspoken and the unmanifested. This is the power of deep embodiment. Through your body you can cross the border to the other side and see, feel, or hear the patterns that create everything. I like to imagine myself in my inner autumn as a wild woman. One, who doesn’t care how she looks like, as she doesn’t have to impress anyone anymore. One, with wild hair, long flowing skirts, or naked, dancing around the fire. One, who ‘runs with the wolves’. One who doesn’t care what the world would think, as she got rid of the shame bounding her to the common standards of society. I imagine myself free in the depths of true freedom. I can feel the creation flowing out of my body, and I midwife it into being, with patience and wisdom. I am myself and I am All.
If embraced, this is a truly majestic and a wonderful place to be. If rejected, this is a place of a great pain, misery, and struggle (PMS). We can travel so freely to and from during this time, as the veils between the worlds are extremely thin and permeable.
The Wise Woman is not afraid of her uniqueness. She doesn’t need to fit in, and she knows it. She cherishes that knowledge. She can be kind, but at the same time she won’t be polite, nor socialised. She will be true – true to herself and her values. This is a part of your initiatory journey – a journey to find yourself. Every cycle you are standing in front of the great changing and flowing, you look into the mirror of your archetypes, and you are getting ready. You are getting to know yourself and preparing yourself to arrive at the gate of the Mega Change, the menopause, and by the time you get there, you will hopefully discover who you are becoming, and you will be able to embrace it fully. By opening yourself to yourself and your needs, you will be able to learn all about compassion and that in turn will open you to become compassionate towards others. Only in this way, you will be able to feel a deep belonging to life.
But the secret lies also in the flow and in letting go. You cannot always rule. You must allow yourself to be vulnerable, tired, and fragile. Do you remember, in this season your energy is draining out and is gathering inside your womb, so it can flow with your beautiful bleed. You must not expect yourself to stay on top of things. This is the best moment to practice the art of surrender. Give up on the outside world, go deeply within and flow with whatever you’ll meet there. Shake hands with the grandmother and sit with her at the sacred fire. Share wisdom and listen to stories. The world won’t end because you won’t participate in it for a moment. If you preserve your strength and replenish it, you will be able to flow with bliss during your bleed. If you go against yourself, and use all your strength, over-exhausting and overworking yourself, your bleed will bring you pain, inability and despair. And the winter that comes after will be truly barren.
In our pre-menstrual phase as well as in the physical season of autumn, we are welcoming the darkness within and without, and the time of All Souls and Halloween. This is the time of meeting the ancestors. The Wise Woman knows how to travel between the worlds. How to move the energy over and through the gates. She can connect, commune, and learn from her ancestors, from the teachers, and from the Earth Keepers. She is a sacred traveller, a seer with the power of the oracle. This is the first gate that you will cross to Dreamworld. The second one will welcome you at the onset of your bleed – the Gate of Deepening and the Great Beyond. Prepare yourself to receive these teachings. Start dreaming. You won’t dream if you won’t allow yourself to slow down and to rest. You won’t hear if you won’t allow yourself to be open and to listen. You won’t commune nor communicate with the other side if you are too busy running around like a headless chicken, burning the candle at both ends. If you go against your body and the season, nightmares will try to get your attention and teach you this lesson in a less pleasant way. The information will be coming across, as the veil between the worlds becomes thinner and the knowledge is passing through. It depends entirely on you what type of communication it will be. If you open your Wise Woman’s eyes, your inner grandmother will take over, and she will lead you across the bridge to gain wisdom beyond beliefs. Why fight this beautiful gift? Open yourself to receive it fully. Flow with the power of seership. This is the place where you can receive the most intimate answers to the most intimate questions. This is the place of deep knowing.
You are the embodiment of your ancestors. Within your bones and your tissues not only trauma but also all the gifts flow bringing the insights from the other side. Sometimes when I look at the curved pumpkins guarding the doors, I think I can see some of my inner faces – frustration, anger, pain, strength and the inner-hallow. I’m pretty sure you can feel that too. Sometimes I am scared, and sometimes I can feel the strength flowing from beyond. In the darkness lies the promise, the understanding, the truth. You won’t get there unless you prepare yourself first. When the veils are thin the souls roam the world freely, and you yourself can step into the Otherworld, the place beyond where your body, your blood and your wisdom are still sacred.
If you don’t bleed anymore, welcome the Wise Woman fully into your life. Allow her to show you the paths beyond, allow her to open your true eye. With this eye see the past and the future. Soften into your changing body, without judgement and expectations of youth. Welcome the Change, become the Change. Susan Weed said in her beautiful book New Menopausal Years: ‘now you are holding your wise blood inside and stir it in your own cauldron, you will nourish yourself, your Kundalini, your serpent power, and find yourself, at 60, passionately sexual with all of life’. It sounds so nourishing and enriching, magical even. To be able to keep the blood within the cauldron of our wombs, to nourish, to feed the serpent, to rise to the knowing. No wonder patriarchy is so frightened of this time and that knowledge. Knowledge that has been feared for many thousands of years. No wonder that Halloween is the time of the Witch – the Wise One, standing strongly in her power. Don’t you think that the time has come to reclaim it for ourselves, for our daughters and granddaughters? The time has come to embrace the Wise Woman within fully and allow her to speak the words of wisdom through our mouths and Yonis. So, open your ears. Listen. Speak up. Flow. And when you place the lit candle in your pumpkin, know that you are lighting the sacred fire within as well.
This is the time of autumn, of wisdom embodied. This is the time of descent. The goddess is leaving the heavens and the world and descends into the underworld. She goes there to be challenged, to meet up with her sister, lose virginity and maidenhood, to be changed. To shed her old skin, her old self and be re-born as someone new. And with this newness come more attributes and more power, as by now she is not only the goddess of heavens and the world, but she is also the goddess of the underworld. She has come a full circle, and she has become All. So, celebrate Her and your ancestors during this All-Hallows feast.
If you would like to know more, my new book ‘Dancing with Goddesses: Archetypal Journey through the Menstrual Cycle’ is out now.
With love,
Agnieszka